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Double Dexter, by Jeff Lindsay
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“Like a breath of fresh air blowing across all crime-novel conventions, there is Dexter.” —Time
Dexter Morgan is not your average serial killer. He enjoys his day job as a blood spatter analyst for the Miami Police Department . . . but he lives for his nighttime hobby of hunting other killers. Dexter is therefore not pleased to discover that someone is shadowing him, observing him, and copying his methods. Dexter is not one to tolerate displeasure . . . in fact, he has a knack for extricating himself from trouble in his own pleasurable way.
Like the previous five best-selling novels in the Dexter series, Double Dexter showcases the witty, macabre originality that has propelled Jeff Lindsay to international success. Double Dexter is raucously entertaining . . . full of smart suspense and dark laughs.
- Sales Rank: #613498 in Books
- Published on: 2011-10-18
- Released on: 2011-10-18
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.52" h x 1.29" w x 6.53" l, 1.36 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 337 pages
Review
"Double Dexter is Lindsay's strongest outing as he richly delves into Dexter's very scarred psyche....Dexter continues to be one of the genre's most unusual heroes." South Florida Sun-Sentinal
"Lindsay's sharp and wicked wit is in full view in this installment...[Double Dexter] had me laughing out loud." USA Today
RAVES FOR JEFF LINDSAY’S ORIGINAL DEXTER NOVELS
“[A] macabre tour-de-force.” —New York Times Book Review
“Lindsay’s original, cockeyed view of the world is alive and well.” —Los Angeles Times
“Delicious and delightful might not be the best words to describe a serial killer. Unless, of course, we’re talking about the delectable Dexter Morgan. . . . Lindsay, the novelist, just keeps getting better.” —USA Today
About the Author
JEFF LINDSAY is the New York Times best-selling author and creator of the Dexter novels, most recently Dexter Is Delicious. He lives in south Florida with his wife and three daughters. His novels are the inspiration for the hit Showtime and CBS series Dexter.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Chapter 1
Of course there are clouds. They take over the sky and hide that pulsing swollen moon that is clearing its throat above them. The slow trickle of its light is there—but any possible glimmer is hidden, invisible behind the clouds that have rolled in low and bloated and so very full. Soon the clouds will open up and pour down a heavy summer rain, so very soon, because they, too, are full of what they must do, full to the point of bursting, so very full that they, too, must work to hold back the flood that absolutely must come, and soon.
Soon—but not now, not yet. They must wait, too, swelling with the power of all that is growing in them, the true and blinding cur- rent of what will come, of what must come when it is right, when it is beyond necessary and into the true shape of this moment, when it forges the real and necessary skeleton of now—
But that time is not yet here, not yet. And so the clouds glower and bunch and wait, letting the need build, and the tension grows with it. It will be soon; it has to be soon. In only a few moments these dark and silent clouds will shatter the silence of the night with the unbearable bright omnipotence of their might and blast the darkness into flickering shards—and then, only then, the release will come.
The clouds will open up and all the tension of holding in so much weight will flow out in the pure bliss of letting go, and the clean joy of it will pour out and flood the world with its oh-so-happy gift of light and liberation.
That moment is near, so tantalizingly close—but it is not yet. And so the clouds wait for that just-right moment, growing their darkness, swelling even bigger and heavier with shadow, until they absolutely must let go.
And here below, in the lightless night? Here on the ground, in the stark pool of shadow these clouds have made with their moon-sheltering sky-hogging sulkiness? What can this be, over there, skyless and dark, sliding through the night so very full and ready and waiting, just like the clouds? And it is waiting, whatever its dark self might be; it waits tense and coiled and watching for that perfect moment to do what it will, what it must, what it has always done. And that moment skitters closer on little mice feet as if it too knows what must come and fears it, and feels the terror of the stalking moment of rightness that is even now pattering up close, closer—until it is right there behind you, looking at your neck and nearly tasting the warm flutter of those tender veins and thinking, Now.
And a shattering blast of lightning shreds the dark night and shows a large and soft-looking man scuttling across the ground, as if he, too, has felt the dark breath so close behind. Thunder booms and lightning flashes again and the figure is closer, juggling a laptop and a manila folder as he fumbles for keys and disappears into darkness again as the lightning ends. One more burst of lightning; the man is very close now, clutching his burden and holding a car key in the air. And he is gone again in black stillness. There is sudden silence, a complete hush, as if nothing anywhere is breathing and even the darkness is holding its breath—
And then there comes a sudden rush of wind and a last hammer of thunder and the whole world cries out, Now.
Now.
And all that must happen in this dark summer night begins to happen. The skies open up and let go of their burden, the world begins to breathe again, and here in the newly wet darkness other tensions flex and uncoil so very slowly, carefully, reaching their soft sharp tendrils out toward the fumbling, clownlike figure now scrabbling to unlock his car in this sudden rain. The car’s door swings open, the laptop and folder thump onto the seat, and then the soft and doughy man slides in behind the wheel, slams the door, and takes a deep breath as he wipes the water from his face. And he smiles, a smile of small triumph, something he does a lot these days. Steve Valentine is a happy man; things have gone his way a lot lately and he thinks they have gone his way again tonight. For Steve Valentine, life is very good.
It is also almost over.
Steve Valentine is a clown. Not a buffoon, not a happy caricature of inept normality. He is a real clown, who runs ads in the local papers and hires out for children’s parties. Unfortunately, it is not the bright laughter of childish innocence that he lives for, and his sleight of hand has gotten somewhat out of hand. He has been arrested and released twice when parents pointed out to the police that you don’t really need to take a child into a dark closet to show him balloon animals.
They had to let him go both times for lack of evidence, but Valentine took the hint; from that point on nobody has complained—how could they? But he has not stopped entertaining the children, certainly not. Leopards do not change their spots, and Valentine has not changed his. He just got wiser, darker, as wounded predators do. He has moved on into a more permanent game and he thinks he has found a way to play and never pay.
He is wrong.
Tonight the bill comes due.
Valentine lives in a run-down apartment building just north of Opa-locka airport. The building looks at least fifty years old. Abandoned cars litter the street in front, some of them burned-out. The building shakes slightly when corporate jets fly low overhead, landing or taking off, and that sound interrupts the constant white noise of traffic on the nearby expressway.
Valentine’s apartment is on the second floor, number eleven, and it has a very good view of a rotting playground with a rusting jungle gym, a tilting slide, and a basketball hoop with no net. Valentine has put a battered lawn chair on the balcony of his apartment, placed so he has a perfect view of the playground. He can sit and sip a beer and watch the children play and think his happy thoughts about playing with them.
And he does. He has played with at least three young boys that we know about and probably more. In the last year and a half small bodies have been pulled from a nearby canal on three occasions. They had been sexually abused and then strangled. The boys were all from this neighborhood, which means that their parents are poor and probably in this country illegally. That means that even when their children were killed they had very little to say to the police—and that makes their children perfect targets for Valentine. Three times, at least, and the police have no leads.
But we do. We have more than a lead. We know. Steve Valentine watched those little boys at their games on the playground, and then he followed them away into the dusk and taught them his own very final games and then he put them into the murky trash-filled water of the canal. And he went satisfied back to his decrepit lawn chair, opened a beer, and watched the playground for a new little friend.
Valentine thought he was very clever. He thought he had learned his lesson and found a better way to live out his dreams and make a home for his alternative lifestyle and there was nobody smart enough to catch him and make him stop. Until now he has been right.
Until tonight.
Valentine had not been in his apartment when the cops came to investigate the three dead boys, and that was not luck. That was part of his predator’s cleverness; he has a scanner for listening to police radio traffic. He knew when they were in the area. It would not be often. The police did not like to come to neighborhoods like this one, where the best they could hope for was hostile indifference. That is one reason Valentine lives here. But when the cops do come, he knows about it.
The cops come if they have to, and they have to if Somebody calls 911 to report a couple fighting in apartment eleven on the second floor, and if Somebody says the fight ended suddenly with the sound of screaming terror followed by silence, they come quickly.
And when Valentine hears them on his scanner, coming to his address, to his apartment, he will naturally want to be sure he is somewhere else before they get here. He will take any material he has that hints at his hobby—and he will have some material, they always do—and he will hurry downstairs and out into the darkness to his car, thinking that he can drive away until the radio tells him that things have calmed down again.
He will not think that Someone would bother to look up his car’s registration and know that he drives a light blue twelve-year-old Chevrolet Blazer with Choose Life! plates on it and a magnetic sign on the door that says, Puffalump the Clown. And he will not think that Something might be waiting for him in the backseat of this car, hunched down carefully into the shadows.
He will be wrong about both of those things. Someone does know his car, and Something does wait silently hunkered down on the floor of the dark backseat of the old Chevy, waits while Valentine finishes wiping his face and smiling his secret smile of small triumph and finally—finally—puts the key in the ignition and starts the engine.
And as the car sputters into life, the moment comes, suddenly, finally, and Something roars up and out of the darkness and snakes a blinding-fast loop of fifty-pound-test nylon fishing line around Valentine’s doughy neck and pulls it tight before he can say anything more than, “Guck—!” and he begins to flail his arms in a stupid, weak, pitiful way that makes Someone feel the cold contemptuous power running up the nylon line and deep into the hands holding it. And now the smile has melted from Valentine’s face and flowed instead onto ours and we are there so close behind him that we can smell his fear and hear the terrified thumping of his heart and feel his lack of breath and this is good.
“You belong to us now,” we tell him, and our Command Voice hits him like a jolt of the lightning that crackles outside now to punctuate the darkness. “You will do just what we say and you will do it only when we say it.” And Valentine thinks he has something to say about that and makes a small wet sound and so we pull the noose tight, very tight, just for a moment, so he will know that even his breath belongs to us. His face goes dark and his eyes bulge out and he raises his hands to his neck and his fingers scrabble madly at the noose for a few seconds until everything goes dark for him and his hands slide down into his lap and he slumps forward and begins to fade away and so we ease up on the noose because it is still too soon, much too soon for him.
His shoulders move and he makes a sound like a rusty ratchet as he takes in one more breath, one more in the quickly dwindling number of breaths he has left to him, and because he does not yet know that the number is so very small he takes another quickly, a little easier, and he straightens up and wastes his precious air by croaking, “What the fuck!”
A string of nasty mucus drips from his nose and his voice sounds cramped and raspy and very irritating and so we pull once more on the noose, a little more gently this time, just enough so he will know that we own him now, and he very obediently gapes and clutches at his throat and then goes silent. “No talking,” we say. “Drive.”
He looks up and into the rearview mirror and his eyes meet ours for the very first time—only the eyes, showing cool and dark through the slits cut in the sleek silk hood that covers our face. For just a moment he thinks he will say something and we twitch the noose very gently, just enough to remind him, and he changes his mind. He looks away from the mirror, puts the car in gear, and drives.
We steer him carefully south, encouraging him now and then with small tugs on the noose, just to keep that one thought in his mind that even breathing is not automatic and will not happen unless we say so, and he is very good for most of the trip. Only one time at a stoplight does he look back at us in the mirror and clear his throat and say, “What are you—where are we going?” and we pull very hard on his leash for a long moment and let his world go dim.
“We are going where you are told to go,” we say. “Just drive, and do not talk, and you might live a little longer.” And that is enough to make him behave, because he does not yet know that soon, so very soon, he will not want to live a little longer, because living as he will come to know it is a very painful thing.
We steer him carefully along side streets and into an area of battered newer houses. Many of them are empty, foreclosed, and one of them in particular has been selected and prepared and we drive Valentine to this place, down a quiet street and under a broken streetlight and into an old-fashioned carport attached to this house and we make him park the car at the back of the carport, where it cannot be seen from the road, and turn off the engine.
Most helpful customer reviews
30 of 35 people found the following review helpful.
"Had I truly lost my edge?"
By E. Bukowsky
For quite some time, first-person narrator Dexter Morgan has been juggling multiple roles: husband and father of two stepchildren and a beautiful baby girl, Lily Anne; blood spatter expert for the Miami-Dade Police Department; and ruthless vigilante who stalks individuals whom he is convinced need killing. He slices and dices his victims and keeps a slide with a drop of their blood as a souvenir. Dexter has executed over fifty people to date without being caught. Whatever could go wrong?
As it turns out, quite a few things can and do go wrong. One, someone spots Dexter doing his dastardly deed to a suspected pedophile. Two, Rita, Dexter's wife, has been acting strangely of late; she's drinking far too much wine and appears more agitated than usual. Worst of all, from Dexter's viewpoint, is that Rita has stopped serving him delicious home-cooked dinners! Chauvinist Dexter is willing to change a diaper, but he is not big on meal preparation. While Dexter spends hours surreptitiously looking for the witness who is now threatening to destroy him, Rita is becoming ever more jumpy; Dexter fears that his career, marriage, and freedom may be in danger.
In "Double Dexter," by Jeff Lindsay, the usually unflappable Dexter is showing signs of strain. Just when he needs to "stay icy calm and in complete control," he is beginning to fall apart. In the past, he was a consummate actor who could fake being human without much effort; now, he is distracted, irritable, and anxious. Making matters worse, "a maniac with a sledgehammer" has been battering cops to a pulp. Dex's sister, the foul-mouthed and aggressive Sergeant Deborah Morgan, demands that her brother use his forensic wizardry and amateur profiling skills to help her nab the perpetrator.
Lindsay again combines his unique and grotesque blend of satirical humor, puns, gore, and mayhem in "Double Dexter." Although Dexter insists that he has no feelings, when he holds his baby girl, he is filled with affection; when he sees the bodies of cops who had been savagely assaulted, he is repelled; and he is genuinely fearful that someone will expose his "hobby" and blow his cover. It seems that in spite of his protestations, Dexter does have emotions, and maybe even a bit of a conscience, although he would never acknowledge it. The plot is a bit of a mishmash involving an assortment of domestic and work-related crises, an attempt to frame our hero, and Dexter's inevitable showdown with his adversary. However, the real enjoyment lies in seeing the world through Dexter's twisted perspective. We wonder how much longer he will be able to balance his career, family life, and the occasional act of carnage.
23 of 27 people found the following review helpful.
Dull Dexter
By makeham98
With the exception of "Dexter in the Dark", I've been at least entertained by all of the Dexter books. While this one I enjoyed overall, it is slow and uneventful, and falls short in a number of ways.
Is author Lindsay so bored in his own life that he has written a book that gives us a Dexter annoyed by the mundane parts of family life? Is he trying to justify copying the direction of the tv series and get rid of Rita? She has no redeeming qualities at all in this story.
The background of the antagonist is contradictory, with identity issues that an angry ex would have revealed long ago, as well as his former employer. Made no sense.
And less plausible is the ending, where Dexter takes a highly visible action at a tourist site yet no one - no one - used a camera to take his photo. And like a bad slasher film, the ultimate end to the antagonist is hammered into your head about 10 pages before it happens. You just read the obvious "clue" and wait for it to happen.
The always ominous presence of Brian is a welcome difference from the tv series, but wasted here.
Again, weak Dexter is better than no Dexter. This was weak.
20 of 25 people found the following review helpful.
Double the Dexter, Double the fun in Lindsays new thriller!
By B-Goody
This Dexter saga/case is much more 'Delicious' than his last. Jeff Lindsay has brought more character to Dexter by giving us an idea of his family life; Rita's craziness, dealing with Astor and her braces and of course their new member, Lily Anne(in the Showtime series it's Harrison). As well as emotion and feelings? The rest of the cast is great with Vince at his best as well as his brother Brian who I'm starting to like. Of course there's a case, but I don't want to give it away. Reading this I swear I had Michael C Hall's killer dialogue in my head and Lindsay has reached the top of his skills giving us his best Dex book yet. Well thought out with a story that will keep you turning the pages. Don't pass this up, even if you disliked the last few or thought that they were a bit lackluster. It's so worth it. And oh yeah, Cyborg Doake's!
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